Adorable Psycho's Letter of the Law
by Wepdiggy
Summary: Chuck and Sarah have come to an agreement as it relates to Sarah's apparent blood lust, but that agreement can be so hard to adhere to! Especially when brunettes are chatting up the nerd. Part 3 of the Adorable Psycho saga. No previous reading required
1. Temptation's Bitch

_Disclaimer: Still don't own Chuck, but if I did, oh boy, the fun I would have, haha. _

_A/N: Okay, so I'm continuing the saga of the "Adorable Psycho" once again, and this time, it's a multi-parter. I hadn't intended for it to be that at first, but this story just kept growing! I really think this is the best of the bunch, so far, but I'll leave that for you to decide. This will probably be two or three chapters when it's all said and done with, I'm thinking. Now, some folks have voiced a bit of apprehension about Sarah behaving in such a sociopathic fashion. To those people I say: sorry! That's just the story I want to tell with this Sarah. She's a lot of fun to write, and she's just so loveable, even if she is terrifying, haha. Now, this part doesn't have quite as many laughs, I think, but this has always been about dark comedy anyway, so it is what it is, I suppose. Thank you as always to the great __**MXPW**__ for some key input, helping me sort out my many scatter-brained ideas, and for the encouragement to write this. If you like it, why not drop him a line and say thanks. If you don't like it, I assure you, it's all my fault. I really hope you enjoy the story, and I look forward to your feedback. Thanks!

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_

**Adorable Psycho's Letter of the Law**

**Part 1: Temptation's Bitch**

Cast in order of appearance

Sarah Walker --- Yvonne Strahovski  
Brunette Skank 1 --- Kate Beckinsale  
Brunette Skank 2 --- Megan Fox

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**Buy More Plaza  
Burbank, California  
November, 2010**

Sarah hated rules. Her dad taught her at a young age that rules were meant to be broken. The CIA had taught her the same lesson. True, the agency had their own rules, that they suggested agents follow, but they constantly looked the other way as long as the job got done.

That's why when Chuck had insisted that if their relationship were to continue that they'd have to set up some basic ground rules, Sarah had balked at the idea. But when he said that he couldn't continue to date her unless they came to a formal agreement on proper behavior within the confines of their relationship, she'd folded like a cheap suit. She'd never regretted agreeing to Chuck's stupid rules more than she had that week.

If Chuck realized how much restraint Sarah had shown over the past couple of days, he'd be so proud of her. True, she'd gotten herself into the position to have to show that kind of restraint, but that wasn't important. What was important was that she was living by the letter of Chuck's law, if not the spirit.

_**The Chuck/Sarah relationship agreement Article 3.1**_

_Sarah Walker, hereinafter called Sarah, shall agree that during a given week (constituted by seven continuous calendar days), to kill no more than three (3) people for any personal or other non-professional reasons, except in matters of self-defense as defined by paragraph four (4) of article three (3). Shall this limit be exceeded, Chuck Bartowski reserves the right to "cut off" (withholding of coitus, or any other form of physical intimacy) Sarah for a period of time that shall be no longer than nine (9) days, but no fewer than five (5) days._

So after choking a man to death on Monday for dinging the door to her Porsche and laughing about it; stabbing a rude customer who thought the best tip he could give her was a slap on the ass, in the throat with a pencil and watching him bleed out on Tuesday; then later that same Tuesday, capping a man outside the Buy More that threatened Chuck that he would "stomp a mud hole in his ass" for not accepting an exchange with no receipt; Sarah was on very thin ice.

Normally she dreaded possibly going over her limit for a week. It was bad enough that Chuck wouldn't even touch her after her violation of the rule, but his disappointment in her made it even worse. And she was really scared that one day, he would just up and leave her, despite his insistence that he wouldn't.

But this week she was motivated by more than her normal fears. This was _not_ the week that she could afford to be cut off. Her first anniversary with Chuck was on Wednesday. They'd been dating, for real, for a whole year! She and Bryce had anniversaries, but they never celebrated them. Chuck, on the other hand, had gone all out.

He'd booked them reservations at some swanky restaurant – which he wouldn't tell Sarah where, and although she knew she could find out if she wanted, she decided to let him surprise her. He'd bought her a present that promised to be both beautiful, and touching. He'd reserved them a room at a five star hotel, so that they would feel like they were getting away, even though their lives as spies wouldn't actually allow for them to get away. He'd really set up the perfect night, and Sarah wasn't going to allow her impulses to ruin it before it began.

So when she asked her local grocer if he had any fresh apples in the back, because all of the ones on display were soft, and many of them had spots, and he'd insisted that they "talk about melons, not apples" as he stared at her chest, she resisted the urge to snap his neck right where he stood.

When the pizza delivery guy had brought her a pie loaded with olives, she'd managed not to track down his car and run him off the road.

Hell, she'd even managed to avoid killing Jeff when she found the toilet-cam he'd installed in the employees only restroom at the Orange Orange.

And she'd almost made it. It was Sunday, so she had just two more days, and she'd be free to exact justice on whomever she decided deserved said justice for another week.

Of course, as fate would have it, she wasn't done being tested. She was far from it.

Sarah walked happily across the parking lot of the Buy More Plaza. It was just about Chuck's lunch time, and she had very specific plans for just what her nerd was going to eat during his break. Hint: it wasn't food.

As she made her way through the last line of cars, she heard a conversation that made her ears perk up.

"Did you see that cutie in the Buy More?" one woman said.

Sarah prayed to God that the woman was weird and was talking about Casey. Or maybe she was really weird and was talking about Morgan. Just don't let it be Chuck.

"Oh my God! Yes! I didn't know they made nerds like that!" another woman exclaimed.

Yep. They were talking about Chuck. Casey certainly wasn't a nerd, and Morgan…well, he was Morgan. She knew from the beginning they weren't talking about him when she was honest with herself.

"I've been eyeing him for a couple of weeks now," the first woman said.

So, this skank had been stalking Sarah's Chuck, had she? Well, she better had been _just_ looking.

"He has the most beautiful eyes!" the second woman said. "And that curly mop of brown hair…"

Sarah couldn't disagree with that assessment. Chuck really did have the most soulful, kind eyes Sarah had ever seen. And she _loved_ his curly hair. That said, those eyes, and that hair belonged to Sarah! Not these hussies! Sarah took a peak at the gaggling bitties. It was exactly what she'd feared. They were gaggling _brunette_ bitties.

_**Chuck/Sarah relationship agreement, Article 5.2:**_

_Chuck shall agree that he will limit contact with any woman with brunette hair to matters of a professional nature, except in cases specified in paragraph four (4) of article five (5). _

_**Chuck/Sarah relationship agreement, Article 5.4:**_

_Chuck's contact with brunettes in a personal setting shall be permitted under only the following circumstances:_

_-The woman in question is Ellie Bartowski-Woodcomb (Chuck's sister)  
-The woman in question is handicapped, and needs assistance (in this case, Chuck is to limit contact to that which is absolutely necessary to aiding her)  
-Sarah has dyed her hair brown for some God forsaken reason, in which case Chuck is permitted as much contact as he wants with that particular brunette…over and over again, if he so chooses, or if Sarah decides he is going to regardless of his wishes._

Sarah smiled briefly recalling the nervous reaction she'd gotten from her boyfriend when she'd brought forth that particular provision. The smile quickly faded, however, when she remembered just why she was even thinking about the contract. The two brunette bitches that were discussing _her_ Chuck.

"So what's the story with him?" Sarah heard one of the women ask.

"Oh, he's got a girlfriend," was the answer given by the woman who said she'd been keeping an eye on Chuck.

Well, at least these two whores knew the score. Surely now, they'd go about their day and leave their school girl crushes on Sarah's property as just that: a crush, and Sarah wouldn't have to risk endangering her upcoming celebration. But then…

"Well," one of the women drawled. "It's not like that's ever stopped us before."

And as the two women laughed, Sarah's rage grew. Not only were they both sluts. They were a slut team, for crying out loud. God, she wanted nothing more than to rip out the heart of both women and watch the life expire from their eyes. But she couldn't. There still had been no inappropriate social contact, and protocol dictated that she had to wait for that.

"But wait," one of the women said. "His girlfriend is that really pretty blonde over at Orange Orange."

"A food service employee?" the other one asked with a chuckle.

"I know," the first one said. "How will two very highly successful business women such as ourselves compete with the likes of a woman that spends her days making minimum wage preparing frozen treats for the masses?" she asked sarcastically.

"Sorry yogurt girl," the second one snorted.

Sarah was now shaking with anger. She would literally give almost anything to be able to kill these stupid tramps. But she would _not_ give up her evening with Chuck, and that's what was really on the line. Dammit, if only the addendum she'd tried to get passed the previous month had gone through!

_**The Chuck/Sarah relationship agreement failed amendment 27:**_

_If Chuck engages in contact with a brunette that Sarah deems inappropriate, Sarah reserves the right to kill the brunette under protection from article three (3) paragraph one (1), as the death will fall under special provision two (2) from article three (3) paragraph four (4) as it relates to "protecting her territory". Such action shall not be deemed permissible, however, unless Chuck actually engages the woman in question in conversation. Petty jealousy (as discussed in paragraph three (3) of article four (4)) is not grounds for Sarah to kill said woman._

Sarah was so incensed, she didn't even notice the two women walking towards her.

"Speak of the devil," one of the brunettes said flippantly, bringing Sarah's attention back to the present. "I guess you heard every word of that?" the woman asked.

Not waiting for Sarah's answer, the other broad spoke up. "Well, you should know, Blondie, that there's nothing you can do to stop us. If we want your boyfriend, we'll take him."

"Yeah, but don't worry," the first woman said. "When we finish with him, you can have him back," she added with a laugh.

Now both women were laughing. They were laughing at _her. _And they were talking about sleeping with _her_ Chuck. Sarah saw red, and any thoughts of keeping her agreement with Chuck flew right out the window.

Sarah grabbed one of the women by the collar and slammed her into a nearby car. With her first victim momentarily stunned, the blonde turned her attention back to the other woman who was starting to run. Her flight was short, however, as Sarah swept her legs out from under her, sending her crashing to the ground. She picked the woman up off the pavement and tossed her head-first against the door of the car her friend was laid against.

Sarah stared down at her prey, two weak and defenseless and terrified whores. Sarah didn't feel like being merciful.

She didn't know how long it had been. It could have been hours, but the fact that the two women who lay sprawled on the ground in a pool of their own blood were still breathing indicated it had probably only been a couple of minutes. That's when Sarah regained her wits. That's when she realized what she'd done.

_Shit!_ What was she supposed to do? Chuck would probably be coming out the doors to the Buy More any second now, and here were these two nearly dead bodies at Sarah's feet. She had to do _something_.

Thinking quickly, Sarah rushed over to her car. God, she hated to think about how hard it would be to get the blood out of her upholstery, but there were worse things in the world to deal with. Like, for instance, not being able to be with her boyfriend on their anniversary.

Sarah pulled up next to the two fallen potential romantic rivals and ran around to the passenger's side door. Throwing it open, she haphazardly piled both women into the seat, shut the door, got back behind and the wheel, and took off.

Her first instinct was to drive somewhere to dispose of the bodies. Of course, Chuck would no doubt figure out what happened later, and she'd be in trouble for what happened, _and_ for lying to him. No, the best thing to do was to be honest.

Then something occurred to Sarah: these women weren't dead. They were still breathing, if only barely. If she could get them to a hospital, she could possibly save their lives, and thereby save her anniversary celebration with Chuck. It was the perfect plan, really. After all, there was no rule against beating the shit out of two deserving sluts. All she needed to do was keep them alive for a couple more days. "You better not die on me, you skanks," Sarah spoke through clenched teeth.

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_A/N: Next time, we find out how Sarah deals with the situation she's put herself in, and how she tries to save her anniversary. Hope you enjoyed this, and please review. You guys are awesome. Peace. _


	2. The Great Cover Up

_Disclaimer: Still don't own Chuck, but if I did, oh boy, the fun I would have, haha. _

_A/N: Okay, so I'm continuing the saga of the "Adorable Psycho" once again, and this time, it's a multi-parter. I hadn't intended for it to be that at first, but this story just kept growing! I really think this is the best of the bunch, so far, but I'll leave that for you to decide. This will probably be two or three chapters when it's all said and done with, I'm thinking. Now, some folks have voiced a bit of apprehension about Sarah behaving in such a sociopathic fashion. To those people I say: sorry! That's just the story I want to tell with this Sarah. She's a lot of fun to write, and she's just so loveable, even if she is terrifying, haha. Now, this part doesn't have quite as many laughs, I think, but this has always been about dark comedy anyway, so it is what it is, I suppose. Thank you as always to the great __**MXPW**__ for some key input, helping me sort out my many scatter-brained ideas, and for the encouragement to write this. If you like it, why not drop him a line and say thanks. If you don't like it, I assure you, it's all my fault. By the way, in case you missed it, this is the exact same A/N from the first chapter. Yeah, I got lazy, so sue me, haha. I really hope you enjoy the story, and I look forward to your feedback. Thanks!

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**Adorable Psycho's Letter of the Law**

**Part II: The Great Cover Up**

Cast in order of appearance

Sarah Walker --- Yvonne Strahovski  
Female Doctor --- Christine Lahti  
Devon Woodcomb --- Ryan McPartlin  
Dr. Todd --- Robert Maschio  
Incapacitated body 1 --- Kate Beckinsale  
Incapacitated body 2 --- Megan Fox

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**West Side Medical Center  
Los Angeles, California  
November, 2010**

Sarah walked through the halls of the hospital with purpose. The more she thought about it, the more she thought that this crazy idea of hers just might work.

Bursting through the doors to the doctors' lounge, she began to search out her target.

"Hey, this is for doctors only!" some lady doctor said indignantly. Sarah only briefly acknowledged her with a wave of her hand before continuing her scan.

Then she saw him sitting on the couch, engrossed in some apparent break-time reading. "Devon, I need to speak to you in private," Sarah said.

"Sarah?" Devon asked nervously, looking up from the newspaper he'd previously been engaged in. "What's wrong?"

"We really need to do this in private," Sarah insisted.

"Way to go Devon!" piped one of the other male doctors in the room. "A little nookie on the side. And a hot one too!"

Devon and Sarah both turned a wicked glare towards the man, quieting him immediately.

Once they were in the hall, Sarah turned to Devon. "I really hate that guy," she said flatly.

"Yeah," Devon drawled. "Todd is – well, Todd."

Sarah seemed to accept that explanation, as they continued to walk towards the front entrance.

"Where are we going?" Devon asked. "What's going on? Is there something wrong with Chuck?" He was clearly getting nervous.

"There's nothing wrong with Chuck," Sarah assured him, not breaking stride. "There's just something I need your help with," she explained.

"Wait, is this something," Devon paused, looking around him before leaning down to whisper in Sarah's ear. "Is this something spy related?"

Sarah thought about her answer for a moment. On one hand, she could lie and say it _was_ spy related, and it would save her from any questions Devon might have. On the other, well, there was no real advantage to telling him that it had nothing to do with her covert life, and she just decided to beat the shit out of two random women. No, the spy thing was definitely the way to go. And it wasn't a _complete_ lie. She was a spy, and she was defending her rights of ownership over Chuck, who was a spy. So it _was _related to two people who happened to be spies.

"Yes," she said simply. Then added: "I need help with a couple of – potential threats."

"Sarah, I don't know," Devon said nervously. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I'd be glad to help and everything, but I don't know if I can really handle all the ass kicking, and shooting, and stuff that you guys do."

Sarah smiled to herself. "Don't worry. I'm pretty sure you can help me with this," she said as they walked through the sliding glass doors.

Sarah grabbed two stretchers to pull behind her as they made their way to her car. When they got there, she threw open the door, revealing her trophies.

"Whoa, not awesome, Sarah," Devon said, surveying the two brunette women who lay bloody and unconscious in Sarah's car. "What the hell happened to these two?"

"_I_ happened to them," Sarah said with a scowl on her face.

"Huh," Devon said. "Doesn't look like it was much of a fight. You don't have a scratch on you." Then looking at Sarah, "Except for that," he said, pointing to Sarah's eye.

Sarah leaned down to look in the passenger's side mirror. Sure enough, there was a large mark around her left eye. _Shit!_ That was certainly going to leave a nasty shiner. Well, a little extra makeup never killed anyone. "Bitch got in a lucky punch," Sarah said dangerously.

"And you're never going to get the blood out of your upholstery," Devon said.

"Yeah, that thought _had_ occurred to me. Listen, can you help me or not?" she asked impatiently.

"Well, I guess. What do you need me to do?"

"Keep them alive," Sarah said simply.

"That's it?" Devon asked, surprise clear in his expression.

"Yep, that's it," Sarah said. "Oh, and don't tell Chuck anything about this. You know how he always gets sand in his vagina about people dying and stuff."

"You want me to keep a secret from Chuck?" Devon asked indignantly.

"No, Devon. I _need_ you to keep this a secret from Chuck. Your country needs you to keep this a secret from Chuck." Okay, that part was just ridiculous, but maybe Devon would buy it. He could be kind of thick sometimes.

"So, who are they?" Devon asked seemingly unfazed by Sarah's request, as he began to haul the first woman out of the car to place her on a stretcher.

"Devon," Sarah said warningly.

"Right, right, I get it. Top secret or whatever."

"Just know that I need them alive, for," _dammit, think of something, Sarah, _"possible further questioning." _Lame. _

"Right," Devon said skeptically. She should have known he wouldn't buy it. "Sarah, these women aren't spies at all, are they?"

"Of course they're spies," Sarah whispered defensively.

"Oh, sure they are. This probably has nothing to do with your agreement with Chuck. Isn't it article three that deals with killing people?" Devon asked snidely.

"How do you know about that?" Sarah demanded. "Did Chuck tell you?"

"No," Devon said. "Chuck didn't tell me."

"Then who?!" Sarah asked, her voice now sounding very dangerous.

Devon lost the apparent confidence he'd had just a moment before when he saw the murderous look on Sarah's face. "Um, it was John!" he blurted out.

"I'm going to kill Casey," Sarah grumbled. "Listen, fine, that's exactly what this is about. I already reached my limit for the week, and I can't let them die, because Chuck will be all pissed off, and our anniversary is Wednesday. You understand, right?"

"I don't know, Sarah. I don't think it's a good idea to keep this from Chuck," he answered uncomfortably.

"Huh, well, how about I put it this way: You keep this a secret from Chuck, or Ellie might somehow find out about that little 'incident' with Agent Garcia," Sarah said with an evil grin.

"I just did what Chuck told me to do! He told me I had to sell it. And it was just a kiss!" Devon whined.

"Yeah, well, I'm sure Ellie wouldn't see it that way. Especially if she got the video surveillance of that magical night, and had to watch it out of context."

"So I'm stuck being an accessory to murder then?" Devon asked defeated.

"Tell ya what, you help me with this, and I give you the photos, the video, and the audio of that night, and we call it even. Deal?" Sarah asked.

"Do I have a choice?" Devon asked still very dejected.

"You always have a choice, Devon. I mean, if you want your marriage to not fail, then your choices are limited, but that said…" Sarah let her voice trail off, knowing she had Devon right where she wanted him.

"Fine, I'll do it," Devon said unenthusiastically, loading the second woman onto a stretcher. "So what's the cover?"

Sarah thought about it for a moment, and as a plan began to formulate in her head, a smile started to form on her face. "Please take good care of my sisters, Joan and Penelope Walker, doc. I'll be sure to call to check on them later."

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_A/N: Okay, this chapter was a bit shorter, but it sets up the final chapter, when everything comes to pass. Sarah has covered up her sin, but will it stay hidden? And if so, for how long? Will she make it to her anniversary? Lot of questions to be answered in the next installment. I really hope you enjoyed it, and please review. You guys are awesome. Peace. _


	3. Get Some

_Disclaimer: Still don't own Chuck or any of the characters therein. And my version of them is very screwed up, so, yeah, you can see why Schwartz and Fedak would be hesitant to share with me. _

_A/N: M'kay guys, this is the last chapter of this installment of the epic (or not so much) Adorable Psycho saga. Meh, this came out much sweeter than I'd originally intended, but hopefully you'll still find it enjoyable. As always, a big thanks to __**MXPW**__ for helping me come up with this entire concept, although he had little input on this chapter. I'm sure it would have been better had he, haha. Oh, and I feel I must say this, because some people have complained. This Sarah is VERY violent. And she's really crazy. That's the fun part of writing her. I'm sorry if that offends some people. Now, I hope you enjoy the chapter, and please review. Thanks!

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**Adorable Psycho's Letter of the Law**

**Part III: Get Some**

Cast in order of appearance

Sarah Walker --- Yvonne Strahovski  
Chuck Bartowski --- Zachary Levi

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**Wednesday  
Sarah's Hotel  
Los Angeles, California**

Keeping Chuck in the dark about what happened had been easier than Sarah thought. Just a little concealer over her eye where that stupid tramp had landed a flailing punch, and all physical evidence was gone. And her daily phone calls to Devon to check on the patients and remind him how blackmail worked secured her secret.

She almost felt bad for Devon. After all, the event she was holding over his head wasn't even his fault, really. He'd been forced to play a part to help secure Chuck's cover that involved playing tonsil hockey with an enemy agent. He hadn't even wanted to do it, and had protested vehemently, but eventually caved to Chuck's request. So really, Sarah was holding the fact that Devon was a good guy over his head. But as guilty as that made her feel, she still wasn't willing to give up her special night with her special nerd.

And the day was already starting out to be extremely special. She'd heard someone enter her room just as the light of dawn was beginning to creep in through the blinds of her window. Just as she'd trained herself to do over the years, she got a firm grasp of the knife under her pillow and prepared to end the intruder, until she sensed the unmistakable smell of freshly made pastries and coffee. Opening her eyes just slightly, she saw that it was Chuck that had broken into her room. But of course it was.

_**The Chuck/Sarah relationship agreement Article 2.3**_

_Chuck Bartowski, hereinafter referred to as Chuck, shall agree that on now fewer than two (2) occasions during every calendar year (January 1__st__ to December 31), to serve Sarah breakfast in bed. These occasions shall be unannounced, but should generally occur on special occasions as discussed in paragraph four (4) of article one (1). This clause is subject to renegotiation should more special occasions be added to the previously discussed list. _

That was one of Sarah's favorite parts of the contract, mostly because Chuck himself had put it in. She hadn't even had to request such treatment. Chuck really was the best boyfriend in the world.

He sat down on the edge of her bed and began to lightly run his fingers over her face before leaning down to kiss her forehead.

"Mmmm," Sarah murmured, basking in his touch. "Mornin'" she greeted him.

"Good morning," he said with a smile. A smile that quickly faded as he seemed to notice something. "What happened?" he asked, lightly touching her bruised eye.

_Shit!_ She hadn't had time to put on makeup before seeing Chuck this morning. Now she had to come up with some reason that she looked like someone had kicked her ass. Which totally wasn't the truth. It was just a wild swing that happened to connect. She looked way better than the two broads she'd beaten nearly to death. Of course, that was what she was trying to keep from Chuck, so she couldn't very well tell him that.

Now she was faced with a real conundrum: fess up to what happened and protect her pride, or lie and say someone attacked her?

"I, umm…"

"Sarah, don't lie to me," Chuck said sternly. He really was getting much better at reading her. Or maybe she was getting worse at lying to him.

"Fine," she huffed. "There were these two women, and I, um…"

Chuck stood up from the bed and began backing away. "Sarah, you were already at your limit for the week," Chuck said warningly.

"That's not true!" Sarah exploded. "I only had two during the past seven days! That guy in the parking lot was on Monday."

"But you said there were two women. That would put your total to four for the past week," Chuck pointed out.

_Dammit!_ If she had just said one woman, she could have just moved on and started enjoying her day. But stupid CIA pride got in the way again. Still, she had an ace up her sleeve. "I didn't kill anyone," she said. "No one is dead," she added, intentionally leaving out the "yet" part.

"Really?" Chuck asked skeptically.

"Really," Sarah answered softly, sliding over towards where he stood. He didn't need to know that there were two women on death's door being kept alive only by respirators.

"You're not just saying this so we can celebrate today? You're not just going to tell me tomorrow that you were lying?"

"I wouldn't do that, Chuck. Relationships are built on honesty. Isn't that what you told me?" she asked, grabbing his hand. After all, withholding the truth isn't _technically_ lying. And she didn't want to sort out the details just yet.

Chuck tensed briefly at her touch before relaxing. He sat back down on the bed with her and looked into her eyes, seeming to search them for honesty. "You're right, Sarah. I'm sorry I didn't believe you," he said.

Then their lips met in a soft kiss, which quickly turned into more. Breakfast was forgotten for the time being.

An hour later, Chuck and Sarah lay in Sarah's bed, bereft of clothes and satisfied. Sarah was propped against the headboard, enjoying the now cold breakfast Chuck brought her.

"Even cold, this is so much better after sex," Sarah professed, taking another bite of her chocolate croissant.

"Uh, huh," Chuck answered. Then looking over at his girlfriend: "You didn't want to put clothes on?"

"Just to eat?" she asked, her words muffled by the mouthful of food.

"I don't know, it's just kind of weird, I guess," Chuck said shrugging.

"Why's it weird? You've seen me naked hundreds of times, Chuck," Sarah replied.

"Four-hundred, twenty-two times," Chuck said without thinking.

"You've kept count?" Sarah asked, raising an eyebrow. "I guess that's kind of sweet, in a really creepy way." She paused. "Does that include this morning?"

"Four-hundred, twenty-three times," Chuck answered.

"So," Sarah began, changing the subject. "Are you going to tell me where we're going tonight?"

"Nope," Chuck said smiling.

* * *

**That night…**

It was certainly worth the wait. Dinner was fantastic. It was weird, but in all her world travels, Sarah had never had Egyptian food before, but the food and the service at Café Dahab was to die for. Well, maybe that wasn't the best way of putting it, seeing as there _were_ still two women near death in a hospital because of her, but Sarah didn't care.

Only making the evening better was the fact that she got to share a new experience with Chuck. She felt bad sometimes that she had lived a life such that there weren't many things that she hadn't done. Whenever she got to do something for the first time with him, it was always a thrill.

"Did you enjoy it?" Chuck asked.

"Mmhmm," Sarah said, leaning back from the table, a look of contentment on her face. "It was amazing."

"So what would you say to a moonlit walk to our hotel?" he asked.

"I'd say it's a bad idea," Sarah answered.

"What?" Chuck asked surprised.

"Takes too long," Sarah said simply. "We'd get there quicker driving, and I'm ready to get back."

"Trying to rush the romantic evening, Agent Walker?" Chuck teased.

"Not at all," she responded. "But I'm ready to get to our room, because, spoiler alert, you're going to get laid."

Chuck laughed. "Well, if the lady insists…"

"Oh, she does," Sarah replied eagerly. Then in one motion, she stood up, grabbed Chuck's hand, and began pulling him out the front door. She didn't want to waste any time. After all, at any minute her half-lie could surface, and she'd be screwed. Or not screwed. However that worked.

* * *

'**Round Midnight…**

Sarah sighed contentedly. Her plan had worked. She'd managed to keep Chuck off her trail for long enough to have her special day, and boy did she ever have it. Four times in one twenty-four hour period. That was pretty damn good, if she did say so herself.

She looked over at the bedside clock as it ticked over to midnight. She was completely out of the woods. Smiling, she picked her phone up from the table, and dialed the hospital.

"Hello? Devon? This is Sarah. You can pull the plug," she said simply, and ended the call.

"Sarah?" she heard from behind her.

"Hmm?" she asked, squinting her eyes closed, all too aware of the tongue lashing she was about to receive.

"What was that about?"

She sighed. "I'm up to two for this week," she answered.

"Sarrrahhh," Chuck growled.

"Sorry," she said with a shrug. "Let's do it again!"

* * *

_A/N: Well, that's it for this one, folks. But fear not, the Adorable Psycho saga is not over. Sarah has many people left to kill, and so little time to do it, haha. I hope you've enjoyed this, and I look forward to your reviews. You guys are awesome. Peace. _


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